Once my partner and I had decided to have a child we never thought it would be so hard. He said not to get to worried if it takes a couple of months, but I thought to myself – “No way, it will be easy.
People fall pregnant all the time without trying. I’m sure it won’t take long.” Oh how I was wrong. We were both in ours mid 20’s fit and healthy. So, I figured it won’t take long at all.
After months of trying, nothing had happen. I was getting so upset. It was really hard to see women walking around pregnant and seeing new babies. I would cry to my friend that it was so unfair that some people find it so easy to have children and that me and my partner really want kids and are trying so hard and get nothing.
After a year of trying, we gave up on “actively trying.” It was too hard and the disappointment was too much. I had starting to look into international adoption. That was even harder because we couldn’t afford it and it would take forever, being that we aren’t Hollywood stars. So I was coming to the realisation that we may need to have scientific intervention. We thought once we could afford it then we would try it.
Than one day, 18 months after we decided to try for a baby, I thought I had gastro. I realised I was late. My partner being the sensible one (don’t tell him I said that) told me not to get to excited (too late). Two pregnancy tests that afternoon confirmed I was finally pregnant. I was so happy. Finally, everything was coming into place.
My joy was short lived. Four weeks later when I was 9 weeks pregnant I went to see my doctor for just a check up and told him I had a little bit of spotty for a few days. He sent me for another scan the next day. My Mum came with me and I didn’t think too much about it. I was exciting to see the little circle on the screen, until the sonographer said that there is no heartbeat and I had miscarriage. I was devastated!
I was studying at that time. I had originally put it off until I had a baby. However, after waiting a year, I thought I was not going to put everything on hold for something may not happen for a long time. After the miscarriage I just focussed on my studies.
Then 5 months later, I was getting ready for the day when I realised I was late by a day and I had a funny feeling about something. I had a spare pregnancy test, so I put it to good use and the faintest pink line come up. I couldn’t believe it! I think I sat on the toilet for about 5 minutes just staring at the test. I rang my Mum crying because the same week I found out my Dad had cancer and was about to start chemo. I didn’t want him to think that he can’t be around me. But my Mum who was divorced from my Dad said to me “Don’t worry, this is the best news for your Dad. Now he has something to fight for”.
This time I was on my own for the first scan. As soon as it came up on the screen I could see not one little circle but two. I couldn’t believe it, TWINS!!! So nearly 2 and a half years after trying for a baby, and one miscarriage later. I finally was holding my two perfect little girls. My Dad had to retire from work so he is spending more time with us and is still fighting and doing well.
I never thought I would be so lucky. I know that I am lucky, there as some people who having been trying longer than me with no luck. But eventually when your holding this perfect little baby in your arms, you don’t care about how hard it was and how long it took because frankly it doesn’t matter, all that matters is this new beautiful life.
This article was written by Sarah – thank you to Sarah for sharing her story
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