From weighing 133kgs, to losing 38kgs and struggling with an eating disorder, Kimberly shares her raw, real experience of finding good health in balance, and becoming a weight loss success story…
“When I first started my journey, weight loss was my very first goal, to just shift something, anything.
I remember that first day I walked through the doors at my gym, the very first gym I had ever signed up to. It had just been built, everything was brand new and I had no idea on how to use any of the equipment – none of it – not even the treadmill.
For the first week I all I did was walk on that treadmill. I would walk in, step onto the machine for 30 minutes and leave again. One morning I saw this woman, this very toned, tanned, smiling woman, walk past the row of treadmills. She called out in a wild, hoarse voice – “Zumba, anyone coming to Zumba? No experience necessary”
I had seen, but paid no attention to the ads on the tv for Zumba. I wasn’t sure if it was her or I was just sick of the treadmill, but I found myself intrigued. What was Zumba?
I walked into the class alone, stood somewhere right up the back and immediately wanted to walk straight out of the room and jump on my trusty treadmill again. The instructor Tracey – the toned, tanned smiling woman – was talking about something, but to be honest I wasn’t really listening. At 133kg I was too busy wondering how to escape from the room without being seen! It seemed impossible though, so I stayed.
Then the music came on. Dance! Zumba was dance! I instantly felt something. I didn’t know what it was at the time but it made me feel happy. Now I know, it was the match I had been waiting for. The match to strike my fire.
When the class finished I couldn’t wait to go back and do it all again the next week. This time I took friends who I’d somehow managed to convince to also join the gym. They didn’t have a dance background like I do and they were worried they would get it wrong, mess up, go the wrong way and that people would laugh at them.
No matter how many times I told them it didn’t matter, they were still insecure and stood up the back next to me and barely moved the entire class. But I was on fire now and I was loving it. I started going twice a week with or without my friends.
Within weeks I had moved myself to the front of the room and could do the routines with my eyes closed. I soon discovered that I was not at all intimidated by the toned, tanned Tracey the Zumba instructor, she was loud and proud just as I was.
I soon found out Tracey was personal trainer. If I could get a small group of mums together, she told me, she could train us. A week later, 7 unfit, unhealthy mums, who had never taken the time to look after themselves, all started dancing Zumba together. We met every Tuesday morning for the next year and it was fantastic!
Tracey was an amazing trainer and totally unlike anyone I’d ever met before. She asked me to stop thinking “I can’t do this”, “I cant do that”, “I’m too big to do that”, “that’s too far”, “that’s too much”.
She would walk or jog beside me, she would lay on the floor until I had finished that last push, she would always tell me “I can”. After a while, I started to believe this too.
Meanwhile the scales and measurements were changing at a fast pace. It was an incredible and addictive feeling to see the weight moving.
But exercise alone wasn’t the whole equation. My diet had to change too. There was no ifs or butts about it. And I wanted to be thorough.
So, I went cold turkey off junk, straight to low carb/ high protein, then eventually no carb, no sugar, no gluten and no dairy. Everything had to go…or so I thought at the time. I was living off poached chicken, zucchini, broccoli and spinach.
I began to increase my classes at the gym to include blitz, step, boxing, cycle and more Zumba.
Then I started taking sick days from work just to go to the gym, I was there morning and night, it had become an addiction, everyone else around me could see it, but I couldn’t. And my food habits had begun to become more than just clean, healthy eating.
Calorie counting, weighing, label reading and numbers had become my life’s work.
My husband suggested at this point I just move in and live at the gym. But I brushed off anything negative my family or friends would comment in relation to my new lifestyle change. It seemed like they didn’t understand, like they weren’t being supportive. I had lost 25kg in just a matter of months and I was so happy about that, it was all I could see. I really thought I was doing the right thing for my body. I thought I was taking my health seriously. But I had become obsessed.
Around this time I met another instructor at the gym, Kellie who now is my best friend, my human diary and my rock. I just love her to death.
She had picked up on something so crucial that it turned my life upside down. One day she laid it all out in black and white – you need to get help.
I might of thought about it for all of 2 seconds and just to prove her wrong made a doctor’s appointment. But she was right. The doctor confirmed that I was suffering from an eating disorder called Orthorexia Nervosa. Basically this is a fear of foods that my brain doesn’t see as ” clean” or ” healthy”. Orthorexia has crossed behaviours with Anorexia Nervosa, my excessive over training was one example of this.
I had no idea. I had become blinded by numerous invisible behaviours that had taken over my mental status. As a result of the disorder I was undergoing extreme dehydration and exhaustion, my blood sugar levels were critically low, and my liver function was also very low.
The outlook was quiet scary for some time and my eating disorder landed me in hospital more frequently than I’d like to admit. I was treating my body so badly and I had done so much damage to myself internally, that if I had continued on the path I was going down, it was clear that the hospital visits would become more regular and more serious.
I found the Healthy Mummy through my dietician who suggested that I try and have smoothies packed with good nutrition. Since then The Healthy Mummy smoothies have been my constant go to on my not so good days. I live and swear by them; the truth is I would not be so far into my recovery without The Healthy Mummy and Lose Baby Weight and the massive support network and safety net it has created for me. I know it is my safe space and there is no judgement with anything I ask or post about.
It’s taken a good 6 months for me to get my head around the severity of this disorder and to begin my fight for good health. But I am finally coming to realise that I actually love my body and all the amazing things it does for me. That I am not flawed, I do not need to be fixed, that I am fearless and very capable of anything. That my journey has no expiry date, that without even realising I inspire so many others every day.
I’m so grateful for the opportunity to be a Motivating Mum for the month of May. I really want to inspire, encourage and support as many mothers out there as possible. ”
Thank YOU Kimberly
The Healthy Mummy Team xx
