If you’ve recently had a baby you’re probably crossing your legs and screwing up your face at just the thought of having sex. Or you could be ready to get back on the horse, so to speak. Sex and intimacy after having a baby is different for everyone and there is no right or wrong thing to do, but if you’ve got some questions you are not alone.
6 Common questions asked about sex after having a baby
1. How long do I have to wait before we can resume our normal sex life?
Once you’ve had a baby you are booked in for a six-week check-up to make sure that everything down yonder is recovering and in good health. Most GPs suggest you wait until after this postnatal checkout, however it might pay to ask them if you aren’t sure, especially if you’ve torn badly and have needed stitches.
Hint: If you’re too embarrassed to ask during your appointment, maybe get your husband or partner to ask or make a phone call when you get home!
2. Will I damage myself or tear again if I have sex so quickly after giving birth?
If you’ve had an episiotomy or a tear there might be discomfort for a few months which will probably be exacerbated during intercourse. Many doctors suggest lubricating jelly for a sensitive perineal area and remember if you’re really worried about it and not enjoying sex then maybe it’s too soon for you.
3. What can we do in the meantime?
Well it’s not up to us to give you bedroom advice, you’ve probably got that part sorted considering you’ve had a baby, but bringing back intimacy into a relationship after you’ve given birth is a good idea. You’re probably both exhausted and stress levels might be high, don’t force or rush the issue, you can’t go past a good old-fashioned cuddle and kiss in bed – you never know what it might lead to!
4. I’m breastfeeding so will I leak everywhere when we’re intimate?
For the first few weeks your supply might be quite big so the chances of leaking are likely, but if you’ve both decided on breastfeeding then what’s a little milk between friends? However, if your breasts are tender suggest other areas that might be less sensitive to the touch.
5. My partner is passive/aggressively pressuring me to have sex, what should I do?
It’s a tough one because quite honestly it’s YOUR body that has just gone through lots of changes. They might think that your stomach has gone down and all things are back to normal, which usually isn’t the case. Swelling lasts for weeks sometimes months and scars tend to take awhile to heal, especially for new mums who are often sleep deprived. Maybe you can suggest alternatives to intercourse, of which there are many, or so we’ve heard!
6. How do I know if things are back to normal down there?
Regardless of how you gave birth, the fact is it will probably never be the same down there ever again. But don’t be sad because you’ve got a baby and there are ways to help, the most importantly being doing your pelvic floors. Sure everyone bleats on about this but it’s true.
However, many obstetricians will tell you that sometimes all the pelvic floors exercises in the world won’t return things back to normal. If you’re concerned about how things are recovering do not waste time and visit your GP.
