3rd
Aug
To day care or not to day care…. That is the question faced by many mums and I think it is one of the toughest decisions to make as a mum when trying to juggle work and being a mum.
My little baby is 20 months old and two months ago I put him into to a local daycare centre around 2 months ago for 2 x days a week.
Now the reason I decided to put my little one is that I kept reading about how it helps development etc and I thought it may be good to see how he goes and have more interaction with little ones – plus I am incredibly busy with the business’ I run (and am a full time working mum) and although I have a nanny for a couple of days too I figured we would test it out and see how it goes.
A lot of mums reading this will be having thinking that they would never put their kids in day care or that they have no choice to put their kids in due to work and family finances. I am in a very lucky position of choosing what to do rather than having to do something due to work and I can’t imagine how hard it is for mums to have to put their little ones into daycare 5 days and the stresses that go with that and I hope the Government end up bringing in more support – such as nannies that cost half the price or the ability to claim back half of nanny costs so it makes it easier for mums that work. Family day care also seems to have a better non sickness rate too – so is worth looking at.
However, after two months doing just under 2 days a week I have decided to stop him going. It wasn’t that he didn’t enjoy it – he did and it was great for him to play with so many little ones his age but the main reason I today decided to stop him going was the continuous sickness he was catching from daycare.
Ever since he has been going (a Wednesday and Friday) he is sick each week. And then the weekend is a write off and then by the time he is better on the Tuesday he gets something else on the Wednesday. And this means the nights are worse than usual as he is sick and then I get sick (and being pregnant that is no fun) and all in all it is depressing.
Then last Friday he picked up something really nasty and by the Sunday he was in a right state. He couldn’t sleep, couldn’t eat, wouldn’t have his bottle (and he LOVES his bottle) and a trip to the Doctor said throat and ear infection. So onto antibiotics he went but after 24 hours he was in a terrible state and had to go to the Children’s Hospital as he had taken in no fluids or food and was starting to get dehydrated.
And whilst waiting 5 hours at the hospital in the waiting room (still cannot believe kids are let to wait so long!!!) we saw another 15 or so kids/babies in the waiting room – all completely sick and at least 50% of them were asked by the nurses “are your babies in day care” which the answer was ‘yes’. And looking around it was just awful. Little babies sweating up looking like the life had been sucked out of them. Toddlers and babies crying everywhere and parents looking heartbroken.
My little one was in a terrible way – always happy – but now crying and lethargic and the worry you go through as a parent is just awful
After the night at the hospital he had to be given nurofen and panadol every 2-3 hours to keep the fever down and pain away then be syringed water to get his fluids up.
After 3 days more like this he finally started to get better and I cannot explain the joy when he started to want food and his bottle again! He lost 1kg in 4 days and I was soooo worried about him and to see him coming back to life after food and drink was incredible!
It was then that me and my husband decided no more daycare. I had asked the Doctor at the hospital for her opinion on daycare and she said it was good to build their immune system up and if they didn’t do it at a young age it would mean they got sickness at school when exposed to all the illness – but that she didn’t have kids so hadn’t had to go through the awfulness of the sickness.
But I have decided that I do not want my little boy to have to go through that level of sickness at such a young age and I would much rather he go through it when he is bigger and older – not at 20 months. And I know for some people they cannot do this but as I have said I am lucky enough to have this choice
So that is that – no more daycare for us. Perhaps daycare will have a place when he is a bit older. It will make juggling things a little harder as with no family in Australia we rely on nannies for help – but I do not want to put my bub through that again so am glad we have made the decision.
And for all the mums who have no choice but to put their kids into daycare – I hope they have a better run with the sickness and that you have people who can help when they are sick as it must be very hard juggling sick babies and a full time job. And this article is 100% not intended to make any mum feel bad about daycare or bash daycare. Daycare has so many positives and I know lots of kids who go and don’t care sick at all – it is just a personal account of my own experience and what I have decided on my own personal experience and circumstances.
I worked in day care for about 5 years before having
My baby boy. I will do anything in my power to make sure I don’t have to send him. I’d rather shop at op shops and walk instead of drive everywhere than have to put him in!
I think 3 year old kinder is the perfect time to start. It’s only a few hours, a couple of times a week. Enough for thier level of development but not so much that they are getting sick all the time and missing thier mum and dads.
As a mother and a childcare educator, it breaks my heart to see little ones getting sick either in daycare or just in general. Yes daycare is a great way for children to grow and develop but on the downside of interaction with other childcren is the sickness that comes along with it. I have had my children in both centre and family daycare environments and found that either way they do get sick, and the best thing I can do as a mother is to ensure that their immune system gets all the extra help i can give healthy eating and a good multi-vitamin definately help.
Yes daycare is so difficult with all the bugs especially this winter has been exceptionally hard
I do family daycare and was constantly sick thru my pregnancy and I’m about to go back after maternity leave and not looking forward to the bugs that go with it 
I am in the same predicament. My little guy is 18mths & has been in for 2 days for about 3 months. He loves it & it has proved wonderful for his development but he is always always sick. Always has a cough, runny nose & has ended up at hospital due to dangerously high fever & convulsions. I feel like a terrible Mother putting him through this & am now at a crossroads about whether to keep sending him.
It is a really hard decision to make – Day Care or not. We’re in the same situation as regards to aging no family here and as much as I swore I would never out my little one in Day Care, we had to as we couldn’t live on one salary.
My little one goes four days a week now, but back to this time last year, he was only going in one day a week and we were encountering the same situation each week – he’d catch some bug or other on the Monday while there, take all week to get better, then on Monday again, catch something else! I think we as something ridiculous like 12 ear infections, 4 bouts of tonsillitis and chest infections! Luckily fo us, as Spring sprung and as the weather improved, so did the health levels at Day Care! The rest of the year he had the odd snotty nose, but nothing to write home about.
I dreaded this Winter arriving and although we have had a few bugs and illnesses, we are nowhere near the situation we were in last year, so from my point of view, it may be strengthening of the immune system, it may be less bugs around this year (which I highly doubt) or it may be the fact that he’s now 28 months and a little better at conveying how he is feeling, but one way or another, it certainly hasn’t been so bad this year!
If Day Care is something you would like to still consider, maybe try again in a few months time. Otherwise, if you are managing as is, continue!
Exactly my thoughts also, I went back to work after 6 months and watched our bub be sick continuously to the point I thought I was going to have a breakdown from trying to balance a full time job with a baby who was forever sick.
I resigned after 3.5 months back at work and I’m finishing my last week next week. Luckily enough a good freind now watches my little one until I finish work as I couldn’t continue watching him being sick all the time.
I have to say it – I am one of those mothers that work Full-Time and have my 3 kiddies go to Kindy / Before & After School Care.
I hate the sickness that goes around at kindy, I have been fighting it for the last 5 years of kindy now, it’s horrible, my youngest is 16mths and seems to be immune to the sickness now (which is a relief) but when those moments come up where I have to choose between work and looking after my child, I always choose bub, my workplace is amazing and helps every time, i feel horrible for leaving the office a staff member down, but thats what I have to do.
and the cost of childcare is just going up , we are just not winning, there needs to way more incentives for mums!!
I don’t really have family that can watch my kids, and when they are sick, you don’t really want friends to watch them incase their kids get sick.
This weather in Brisbane is just horrible at the moment, I am counting down the days to summer!
I wish I was able to afford a Nanny, but it’s just not possible, I would much prefer to stay at home with the kids, but that also just isn’t realistic
i wish i had an option!
i feel so guilty but i know i would only being selfish by not letting him interact with other little people – how boring is mum lol!
i am so in love with my little man. obsessed by him but i want to give him the best and me being stressed about money will not be good for him …… so off to work i go … hi ho hi ho
I work in a child are centre and yep it’s sad when you see a child come to daycare obviously unwell, then to hear parents say “oh he has had Panadol, he will be fine”
Then off they trott.
I have just recently changed centres and for the first 5 years in my old centre never experienced personal illness like I have since my new employment.
The doctor told me the same thing, I need to build up my immune and every centre has different bugs to get use to.
I’m a big advocate for the children in my care to practice great hygiene.
I, too, am lucky and have had the choice of when and if to my put children into daycare. I put my so in when he was almost 3 – he was asking to go and yes he got a little sick here and there but nothing to the extreme of your little one.
When my daughter was 2 1/2 she would scream and cry when we left my son there and wanted to go to “kindy”. So I tried her and she has been great. A little sick here and there, but again nothing like your little one.
My children are 16 months apart and I had many people telling me to put my son in for one day while I was pregnant and after my daughter was born as it is good for them. But I knew and followed my instincts and waited. Now they both go 2 days a week and I study at university. They love kindy but also love time with mum. Good for you for making that decision, I would have done the same. Maybe consider it again when he is talking more and can tell you what he wants
rIm glad i read this today. I took my 4 month old to the local kindie/daycare yesterday to see his cousins do there kindy olympics. It wasa fun morning and i got to see other mums and just check out the facilities for future.(first time mum). All the kids kept running up to bub, andit didnt worry me till i started to notice the snotty noses and coughs. I couldnt get him out quick enough!!! I felt rudein a way, but my insticts just said run!! Im just waiting to c if he gets sick or not.
I send my 20 month old to long day care 3 days a week and have done since he was 7 months old and did the same with my now 5 year daughter who attends school and after school care on those 3 days. Whilst we have had sickness at times I don’t believe we have had any more than friends that do not send their kids to care at all. In fact, a friend who has two children at similar ages to me has much more sickness in her house than we have in ours.
Within the childcare setting I believe it is all about the hygiene in the centre, and the strictness around sending ill children home.
My son has been in family day care since February this year five days a week as I cannot afford to stay home on one wage and we don’t have any extended family to help out at all…He is with his second carer now who loves and adores him and treats him as if he was her own however in between carers we had to put him into a daycare centre for only one whole week. Of which he got sick on the third day and wasn’t allowed to attend for the rest of the week. Also in this time, he threw the biggest tantrums every night that I hadn’t seen before and haven’t seen since he returned to family day care. Even though he coped during the day (as he had no choice really) he showed me each evening how much it upset him.
We are very fortunate now to have him in the family day care where he is looked after by someone who has his best interests at heart, he is able to grow into his own little person without being overshadowed by 20 other children and yet he still has the opportunity to be social without being too dependant upon mum and dad being his only other carers. The bonus is he has hardly been sick and when he has it has been mild and it hasn’t affected my working situation too much. I am also currently 6 months pregnant so this is a huge relief to me. Oh and the bonus is it is a lot cheaper than a day care centre!!
Thanks for this piece. I have a 19 mo who has only been with Nannie for care while I went back to work part time between pregnancies and occassionally the crèche at the pool etc. So many ppl tell me I should be putting him into day care to socialise him. Particularly as i now have a 3 month old too. I think my MIL would see it as me taking him away from her if I did that though.
I am a single full time working mum to a precious little girl, with no family here. My daughter goes to Family Daycare three days a week and Daycare two days and since I have stopped B-feeding (at just after 2 years old) she has had constant respiratory illnesses with a runny nose. It is heartbreaking as I am out of sick/carers leave now and taking a day off means no pay (I’m not a citizen so no back up cash wise). It’s such a juggling act and for the most part I feel terribly guilty but me feeling guilty doesn’t give me the energy I need to be the best mum I can be….so each day I give my girl hugs and kisses and remind her how much mummy loves her, have fun and I will see you soon x after a year of doing this I still miss her every single day.
I have been so blessed to be able to have my kids at home with me. I also chose to homeschool and our children are hardly ever sick. We do have heaps of social interaction, but because of our youngest having immune deficiency (due to extreme prematurity) our friends and family tend to stay away if they are sick. Our nurse seems to believe that it is better to wait until kids are older before exposing them to illnesses and their immune system is more mature therefore better capable of handling infection. And I have to tend to agree with the nurse when she also says that as adults we don’t purposefully try to get sick from others – we often keep our distance (which kids don’t tend to do). In the meantime we feed our kids healthy foods and get lots of exercise so their bodies are better able to fight of illness – plus we immunise. On the other hand, I think it’s great there is an option of daycare for those who have no choice – however I wish there were more choices such as nanny’s or family daycare…
Not to be rude but I read this piece thinking it was an over reaction to pull the bub out of childcare.
I have three kids. One is in school, one in childcare and one at home.
My oldest was never put into childcare, while he wasn’t a sickly child, he did have more than a handful of hospital trips before the age of three. Three of those trips had him stay in the hospital a couple of nights. And at 11 months he lost 2 kg in 24 hours with gastro.
All of these things were scary as hell at the time, the gastro bug came from a friends kid who we had a play date with. By the logic here I should have stopped seeing my friend and her kids just in case my son got sick again.
My daughter has been in childcare for over twelve months now and has thrived. She was just over two when she started. She has had a couple of sniffles but nothing unbearable. She got hand foot and mouth which had me rush her to the hospital due to the sudden onset of a sus looking rash. But she got over it pretty quickly.
My youngest is only 5 months so she won’t be going anytime soon. But I can tell you she has already had two colds without any contact with snotty childcare dwelling children.
Sorry if I sound callous in my reply but kids need germs, kids need to be around other kids and play with dirt and all of those wonderful things we did when we were kids.
And please don’t think “I bet she hasn’t had a kid so sick etc” I have had more than enough health scares to know that it would have been awful for the writer to see her bub in distress like that. But it can and does happen to kids who are not in childcare too.
Both my children attend a fabulous child care centre and have never been particularly unwell. I credit the excellent childcare centre they attend which places quite an emphasis on hygiene.
In relation to your comment about having to wait 5 hours for your child to be seen in hospital, each child is asessed at triage and then seen on a priority system as to how unwell they are. Whilst it is distressing for any parent to have to wait with a sick child, I think you’ll agree that those children with breathing difficulties or who have sustained a major trauma would be seen ahead of those with gastro. I work at a children’s hospital and am tired of people complaining about how long they have to wait, we all do our best!
Thanks Alison – my point on the hospital wait wasn’t just about my own child – but all the babies in there – and it wasn’t a dig at the hospital who I know do their best and assess each child on risks – more at the fact that I think there should be more Government funding in kids hospitals to give more staff and resource. I know LOTS of companies who raise money for kids hospitals as they need as much money as possible and I think the Dr’s and nurses do an amazing job and want them to have as much funding as possibe
I have been fortunate enough to be able to be a stay at home Mum for my 3 boys. We made a conscious decision when the first one was born I would stay home with the kids until they were all at school and we would do what was necessary to make that happen – it has been hard and we often going without certain things because of being on one income. However, I did the same thing thinking I was helping my boys by placing them in care one or two days a week for the social interaction.
BUT..the sickness was absolutely terrible and would always spread through the whole family, diminshing our ability to care for all of them properly. It just wasn’t worth the pain of seeing them so sick so often. We realised they are only little once and you only have such a short time with them watching them grow and caring for them that we decided it was better to wait until they were older and then let them attend pre-prep.
We put ours into pre-prep when they were four. That has meant four years of being loved and nurtured by their Mum, Dad or family member. It also means there is plenty of time for them to still develop their immune system once attending school or kindergarten when their bodies are more developed and stronger and able to cope better with sickness. Our boys have all socialised well and are happy, healthy strong little boys.
I completely understand your decision and know you won’t regret it and neither will your child.
I may not have been able to have many of the things that I might have had should I have worked, put them in care and had a second income – and some days with a 6, 4, and 2 year old I feel I’m going a bit crazy, but I have had the greatest thing of all which is precious time caring for our boys and keeping them as happy and healthy as I possibly can. Healthy kids are happy kids!
Hope your little one is feeling much better:)
I am so sorry to hear that. I have a 22 month old and a 4 month old. I am a full time stay at home mum. I haven’t put either of them in childcare or creche, but will put them starting 3 year old kinder. I hope it is ok for my 22 month old to be home, we do see other kids and sometimes days on our own. He seems really happy.
Hi Rhian,
This is one topic that becomes very personal to all of us amazing Mummies because we just want the best for our families. Can your team recommend some super immune boosting foods that are toddler friendly or can be hidden in our babes favourite foods?
Absolutely Kelly! I have started to use kiddie fish oils and a multi vitamin so his immune system is strengthened and I am using the Natures Own range for kiddies x