First Year Reflections

My 1 year old is currently passed out as I type this, exhausted from two days of celebrating her birthday with friends and family.
She is cuddled up with her brand new bubba, and hopefully this slumber will last a good hour or more, so that this frazzled mum can enjoy a cuppa and work through how I feel about this whole weekend.
One year ago today, I emerged from a natural and difficult labour. My little one had been stuck, and I can remember feeling like I would never get to meet this tenant of my womb.
But she did finally emerge, and it was truly love at first sight.
This crying little wonder, with black hair and blue eyes, hungry for her first feed, and truly perfect in every way.
Jonny crying when he saw his little girl for the first time, and me in foggy, baby bliss, savored every moment.
Somehow, this tiny little creature has changed into a chatty toddler, with silky gold-tinted brown hair, huge olive eyes, and chipmunk cheeks.
If you asked me to list all the things I love about Evie, I’d be typing forever, for as she gets older, the list keeps growing.
As a little baby, it was the newborn smell, the way she would cuddle in for a feed, the way her mouth would twitch whilst she latched on to something invisible in her sleep.
I loved the way she would burst into gummy grins when she started recognising faces, her discovery of sand at the beach, deliciously plump wrists, her gutsy laugh which would set me off, not to mention those sloppy kisses which I treasure dearly.
She carries with her an air of curiosity, a mischievous twinkle, and is learning early on the benefits of having a comedic sense of timing.
This first year of motherhood has been such an adventure, and every stage has its challenges and joys, disappointments and achievements.
There have been days where I have felt like I am doing well, but they were swiftly followed by days of doubt, and frustration at myself with how I handled a particular situation.
And now as Evie blasts her way into toddlerhood, I am finding I need to be extra careful in how I conduct myself in front of her, because, let’s face it, children are the best mimics of their parents!
Yes, she has her bad days, trying to squirm off the change table, yelling in frustration when we take too long to get her something, or just deciding that nap time is for babies.
However, the good days outweigh the bad.
Watching her yesterday at her 1^st birthday party, surrounded by her biggest fans, she played happily with her little buddies, kissed a friend, got excited about a candle, and thought it was a good time in front of 60 witnesses, to walk four steps unaided to one of her Aunts.
I have shed a couple of small, wistful tears as I acknowledge that Evie is no longer a baby, that she likes reading books and playing with toys without me sometimes, and can now willingly (and surprisingly) clean her high chair tray.
I will miss those days of just sitting and holding between feeds and nappy changes, I will miss the curled up little bundle all squishy from sleep.
But let me not forget what I have gained; a little girl who says “Mumma” and “Dadda”, who pants when you ask her what a dog does, who growls like a lion, and tries to do the actions for Twinkle Twinkle and Here Is The Sea.
I have a child who comes to me for hugs when she is sad, glad, or just because, and more often than not these hugs have a wet smooch attached!
I am thankful every day, even in the tough days, for this little person, my Evie.
May we share in many more.
This article was written by Beck Hendropurnomo
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